The plot, right, is that you're a lone sniper in a nondescript Middle Eastern oil nation with a new government that I guess didn't import enough Simpsons DVDs, and therefore, the Western powers want ousted you proceed to oust it by tracking down a bunch of key power brokers and turning all their heads into very short-lived, highly pressurized ornamental fountains, concluding with the big leader herself. It's been a while since I've seen a game so utterly milquetoast in all its attributes. I covered it in my compilation review of games I couldn't think of any interesting things to say about, but now the sequel's getting its own review not because it's any less mediocre, you understand, but because it's now so mediocre that the mediocrity's come back around to being interesting. Sniper (HRUUH) Ghost Warrior (HRUUH) Contracts 1 was an improvement in that it was a game like reading a slightly interesting magazine in a doctor's waiting room, as opposed to being like the ensuing botched colonoscopy. I reviewed Sniper (HRUUH) Ghost Warrior 3, and it was godawful, like watching a Jason Bourne film where the costume department accidentally ordered everything two sizes too small and Jason Bourne spends every action scene in a dustbin, growling with generic intensity about how his jockstrap pinches. Without the "sniper" part, what would you assume " Ghost Warrior" was? I'm leaning towards either "poorly-translated martial arts film" or "an air freshener marketed towards men aged 18 to 35". There's still something about the title " Sniper (HRUUH) Ghost Warrior (HRUUH) Contracts" that irks me, all dry heaves aside I always find it laughable when anyone refers to themselves as a "warrior" if they've never even had one battle-axe lesson, or, indeed, if they collapse like an ineptly-folded cootie catcher the moment they get into a direct fight with someone less than two hundred yards away. This week on Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee reviews Sniper: Ghost Warrior Contracts 2.
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